Your Religion Is False » facebook http://yrif.org Tue, 28 Sep 2010 05:18:03 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 You’ve Been Poked By Jesus http://yrif.org/2009/08/02/youve-been-poked-by-jesus/ http://yrif.org/2009/08/02/youve-been-poked-by-jesus/#comments Sun, 02 Aug 2009 16:41:18 +0000 Joel http://yrif.org/?p=915 Although Seattle is not a particularly religious city, our local papers pretty frequently run articles describing what it’s like to be “in a relationship” with god.

Today, for instance, Northwest Ministry Network Women’s Ministry Director Jodi Detrick brings us the touching tale of a former junkie who used the “relationship status” of her Facebook page to announce an “it’s complicated” with Jesus Christ:

Brandlyn explained something that had occurred to her: Although she wasn’t married or dating, she really is in a relationship with … Jesus. She knows Him, loves Him and believes He knows and loves her.

This is eerily familiar territory for me, because for a long time my Facebook profile showed me as “in a relationship” with Melrose Place’s Sydney Andrews. Sure, we weren’t married or dating, but I knew her and loved her, and I believed that she knew and loved me too. (After a while I realized that she still harbored feelings for the villainous Dr. Michael Mancini, and I set my status back to “single.”)

Sydney faced questions about her sanity (just like Jesus), faked her death (just like Jesus, was beaten up by a gang of prostitutes (just like Jesus, and tried to save the residents of Melrose Place when Kimberly Shaw blew up the building (just like Jesus).

What’s more, pre-Sydney I was on a Brenda-Walsh-paved road to ruin. And yet the Times never wants to print any of the essays or poems or short stories I’ve written about the difference this relationship with Sydney has made in my life!

Bigots.

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]]> http://yrif.org/2009/08/02/youve-been-poked-by-jesus/feed/ 1 Chesty "Crush on Benedict" videos http://yrif.org/2009/05/20/chesty-crush-on-benedict-videos/ http://yrif.org/2009/05/20/chesty-crush-on-benedict-videos/#comments Wed, 20 May 2009 16:54:11 +0000 Joel http://yrif.org/?p=387 Never let it be said that the Catholic Church doesn’t embrace change. They lifted a ban on publishing Galileo’s works only 76 years after he died, and they lifted their general prohibition on works advocating heliocentrism only 40 years after that. And only a year after the Cadaver Synod they forbade any future prosecutions of corpses.

So it should be no surprise that the Pope plans to join Facebook in 2009, only a couple of years after your mom:

The Church wants to emulate US President Barack Obama’s use of the internet, both during his election campaign and since he took office.

Hopefully, in addition to Facebook, it will include some of the following:

You can keep track at the unfortunately-named Pope2you website once it goes live (I am guessing that “Pope2U” wasn’t available, or maybe they were afraid of violating a Prince trademark).

And let me be the first to say, “Welcome to 1998!”

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