Under the Bill, public sector bodies will be expected to monitor employee beliefs to help promote religious equality at work, in the same way organisations monitor race, gender and disabilities.

Now, I totally understand monitoring disabilities, because it can get kind of messy if you don’t office the handicapped people on floors that have those special, extra-wide restroom stalls with safety handles and toilet-seat protectors.

The rest, though! I once had a co-worker who monitored my gender, and I hers, and then things went awry, and then every time we had to use the deep fryer at the same time it was super-awkward.

I also used to scrupulously monitor co-worker’s races. I collected these data in spreadsheets, from which I made charts and Powerpoints and infographics, which I posted all over the building. (“COMPETENCE, BY RACE, 2007.”) This also did not end well.

Nonetheless, these are at least superficial characteristics. You don’t have to ask about them at job interviews — you can just base them on what people are wearing and what kind of locomotive aids they use and the shapes of their skulls.

Religion, on the other hand, you’ll really have to probe. Sure, if someone is wearing a burqa, or a beanie, or a turban, or a forehead-dot, then you can figure it out on your own. But many religious people dress just like normal people!

So you’ll have to get a little clever with your interviewing. As I have had my share of, um, dealings with human resources over the years, I like to think I have a good understanding of how they do business. Accordingly, here are some suggested interview questions:

• Write computer code that takes as input an array of gods and sorts them from most plausible to least plausible. Test it on the inputs (Jesus, Yahweh, Allah), (Ahura Mazda, Ganesh, Haneullim), and (Lolth, Garl Glittergold, Wee Jas).
• Tell me about a problem you once had with a clergyman. How did you resolve it?
• If your boss told you to speak to a rock in order to get water out of it, would you speak to it or strike it with your staff?
• What religion do you look for in a boss?
• How would you explain theodicy to a five-year-old?
• Tell me about a time when you saw only one set of footprints in the sand.