One common complaint levied by those of us who write hilarious books mocking religion concerns the huge number of problems created by people trying to live life in the 21st century using rules written down by cavemen many centuries ago, long before the invention of indoor plumbing, refrigeration, internal combustion engines, the Nintendo Wii, “organic” certification, IUDs, and “fair trade” coffee.
For example, Jewish scripture predates the invention of bicycles and spandex, leading to silly conflicts when bike lanes run through religious neighborhoods. Similarly, Catholic proscriptions on contraception, which might have made sense back when people disgustingly used candy bar wrappers as birth control, seem pretty goofy now that actual condoms are available for free in the school nurse’s office.
And, of course, the Muslim idea that a woman should only be seen in public wearing a burqa might need rethinking now that go-carts have become popular:
The Muslim clothing the woman was wearing flew back as she sped around the track and part of it became entangled in the go-kart’s wheels.
She was strangled in a second and crashed the vehicle.
This is not only a go-kart-specific problem, either. The same could happen with a lawn mower, with a motorbike, with a roller-coaster or a Sit ‘n Spin or a Tower of Terror.
It seems pretty clear that the burqa isn’t appropriate apparel for the modern world.
I mean, I guess you could instead take the position that maybe women just shouldn’t be allowed to do any of those things, or maybe that women’s lives just aren’t that important, and a few strangulations is a small price to pay for the corresponding benefits of getting your life micro-managed by a bunch of scripture-interpreting zealots.
But religious people couldn’t be that callous. Could they?
Yes, when I thought of “unnamed muslim women” being strangled to death by her burka on a go-kart, this is exactly what came to mind. Burkas and dancing are a pretty natural combination.