Why is Catholicism losing popularity? While researching my book I conducted several focus groups and found that the most common reasons were things like
- Communion rituals unfairly exclude coeliac disease sufferers
- lost faith in natural family planning after tenth pregnancy
- tired of being solicited for contributions every papal election season
- can’t believe in a god who would condemn “Top Chef” Season 3 favorite Dale
- don’t understand why children of “annulled” marriages don’t become illegitimate
- Catholicism false
Which is why I’m skeptical of the new Catholic ad campaign, which doesn’t seem to address any of these:
“In this world filled with chaos, hardship and pain, it’s comforting to know that some things remain consistent, true and strong,” an announcer says. “If you’ve been away from the Catholic Church, we invite you to take another look. . . . We are Catholic. Welcome home.”
On the other hand, if you’re one of the handful of people who left the church searching for a religion where you get to sit in an airplane hangar after you die and watch a movie showing all of your old haircuts, some of your worst pecadilloes, and the time you had sex with a blonde teenager in a cheap motel, then this new ad campaign is for you:
(Although Mormon ad campaigns have been similarly ineffective, at least they were savvy enough to cast the always-watchable Alfonso Ribeiro.)
