I don’t know about you guys, but I’m starting to get pretty excited about the year 2011. For starters, it’s the last year before the Mayan Prophecy kicks in. Also, there’s a ton of great movies scheduled, like Pumas and Bond 23 and Untitled Star Trek Sequel. And, of course, the new New International Version Bible will be coming out:
Keith Danby, Global President and CEO of Biblica, said the new translation will aim to reach English speakers with a Bible that is “accurate, accessible and that speaks to its readers in a language they can understand.”
“This is why we are recommitting ourselves today to the original NIV charter, complete with its charge to monitor and reflect developments in English usage and Biblical scholarship by regularly updating the NIV Bible text.”
He said the present NIV is becoming “increasingly dated.”
“If we want a Bible that English speakers around the world can understand, we have to listen to, and respect, the vocabulary they are using today,” Danby continued.
Although the full extent of the revisions isn’t known yet, I’ve managed to compile a few examples of the proposed modernizations:
- Wedding at Cana now memorable for Jesus turning water into açaí superjuice
- Burning bush story now mentions Moses’s carbon footprint
- Destruction of Jericho now accomplished by flash mob
- Judas now described by Jesus as Frenemy
- Jesus’s time in Capernaum now described as staycation
- Apostles to be renamed the Netroots
- Moses’s mother’s nurse act will be referred to as pretexting
- “You Foolish Galatians!” to be replaced with “Welcome to the O.C., Bitch!”
when r dey gonna make txt msg bibl?
Apparently they’re working on it:
http://tominthebox.blogspot.com/2008/03/tx-bble-text-message-bible.html
There’s work on a tweeted bible here for another spin on it.
http://sguforums.com/index.php/topic,22412.0.html
Why waste time, money, and energy revising a stupid novel (from the pervasive KJV to the apparantly already flawed NIV) in 2011 when the “world” is scheduled to “end” in 2012?
But I love the idea of humans constantly revising the Bible. Sure makes it seem like its the “divine word,” doesn’t it? For all we know, in the original text, Judah could have been Jesus’ scorned lover but his family was embarassed by their son so they successfully petitioned a re-write of the Bible to play down the family scandal.
Screw “The DaVinci Code,” I think I’ve stumbled upon another spin-off from the Bible that could be a best-seller: “The Secret Life of Jesus Christo: Re-examining Judah.”
Don’t steal my idea Joel… LMAO : )