Those of you who don’t live in West Virginia will surely be disappointed to learn that you’ve been outreligioned by the Mountain State:
Forty-five percent of West Virginians say religion is very important in their lives as compared to 36 percent of U.S. respondents who agreed with that statement.In West Virginia, 71 percent of the people believe religion can answer most of today’s problems while only 56 percent of U.S. poll respondents agree with that philosophy.
Thirty percent of Mountain State residents attend church once or more a week as compared to 23 percent of the U.S. population.
I’m trying not to dwell on the distressing fact that 56 percent of respondents believe that religion can “answer [sic] most of today’s problems.”
But today’s problems have been things like “how is it possible for a human being to smell as bad as the guy next to me on the bus does?” and “why isn’t my Gmail working?” and “what did someone tattle on me to HR about this time?” And, despite my being an expert on pretty much every religion there is, I can’t even begin to imagine how anyone could find “religious” solutions to problems like these. (I briefly considered that perhaps the guy on the bus was a Muslim who’d given up showering for Ramadan, until I saw that he’d snuck a dog onto the bus, most likely in an inept effort to disguise his stench.)
Of course, as a social scientist, I find myself dwelling on the questions they forgot to ask:
Fifty-one percent of West Virginians have feuded with the Kentucky-side-of-the-river McCoys over religion as compared to only 2 percent of U.S. respondents who had.In West Virginia, 25 percent of the people have “skinned a rodent in order to make a hat to wear to church” while approximately 0 percent of U.S. poll respondents claimed to have done the same.
Sixty-three percent of Mountain State residents have “handled snakes in accordance with Mark 16:18,” as compared to 1 percent of U.S. respondents.
On the other hand, I might get an angry letter from the governor. And I’ve got quite enough of those already.
Maybe some people thought they meant that religion could answer for most of today’s problems?
As a native West Virginian who’s lived here all my life, I have no problems believing that poll is accurate. Whole lotta Bible-thumpin’, not a whole lot of thinkin’.