Global warming skeptics have latched onto the recent paucity of hurricanes as disevidence for Al Gore’s climate change thesis. Predictions of global warming include increased tropical storm activity, they argue, so the lack of such storms casts doubt on the “warming” hypothesis.
It turns out, though, there’s a simpler explanation for the quiet seas: Yahweh:
[Florida Governor] Crist said he isn’t trying to take credit, but he told a group of real estate agents Friday that he’s had prayer notes placed in the Western Wall in Jerusalem each year and no major storms have hit Florida.
Although few are willing to openly talk about it, it turns out that Crist is not the only one placing notes in the “Wailing Wall” as a gubernatorial aid. Through careful research, I’ve found the following examples.
- Gray Davis
- “Dear god, I’m so sick of this crap job, please get me out!”
- Mark Sanford
- “God, I’ve always wanted to make it with a wise Latina! Can you help?”
- Bobby Jindal
- “Please, god, make me a decent public speaker!”
- Jim McGreevey
- “God, if you can just make Golan return my affections, I promise that I’ll become a priest after I get kicked out of politics!”
- Rod Blagojevich
- “God, you fucker, I know you’re interested in this fucking Senate seat, but you’re not willing to give me anything but appreciation? Well, fuck you!”
Obviously, the results are somewhat iffy.
From IOZ
And in the process of time it came to pass that Cain brought some nice salads and a decent couscous to the potluck.
And Abel also brought some stuff, a rack of lamb in a rich reduction. And the LORD was all like, Respect, Abel. For real, brah.
But unto Cain and his bullshit tofu or whatever, the LORD was all like, What the fuck is this shit, dude? Are you gay? And Cain was pissed as fuck.
And the LORD was like, Dude, why are you acting like such a little bitch?
And Cain found Abel and was like, What it is, yo! Then they went up the park and Cain killed his ass.
And then the LORD was like, Straight up, Cain, where’s your bro? And Cain said, Why the fuck you think I know? I ain’t up his ass, yo.