It can be tough being a Christian. You have to believe all sorts of unbelievable things. You have to go to church every Sunday and listen to some preachy dude beg for money. You have to put up with brilliantly-written, riotously-funny, expertly-argued books patiently debunking your faith. (I suppose this one doesn’t really distinguish you from believers in any other religion.) And you have to tie yourself into knots trying to explain why the latest scientific discoveries explaining how the world works don’t actually contradict your millennia-old, rooted-in-superstition, alternative “explanations” of how the world works.
But you’re not alone in your struggle. The BioLogos foundation is there with you every step of the way (and when you see one set of footprints, that’s where they were carrying you).
Today, for instance, they’re offering “Three Ways to View the Fossil Record [that aren't incompatible with your religious faith, even though (if you want to get technical) the fossil record isn't compatible with your religious faith].”
- God created each species “individually from nothing” as time proceeded. (Note: not actually compatible with fossil record.)
- God created species in “bursts” over time. (Note: not actually compatible with fossil record.)
- Evolutionary biology is the proper explanation for the history and diversity of species, but god has been continually doing the work behind the scenes. So, for instance, he’s always choosing which genetic material crosses over during meiosis, and he helps ducks decide which other ducks to rape, and he helps misdirect mooses he doesn’t want reproducing into having sex with horses instead.
Although the third theory is (vacuously) compatible with the fossil record, it presumes a level of perversity on the part of god that’s really more compatible with the jealous, kinky Old Testament god, not the effeminate, hippie New Testament god.
Accordingly, New-Testament-believing Christians might be better served by a fourth way of viewing the fossil record:
- Your religion is false.
This explanation does have the drawback of not being exactly “compatible” with the Christian faith. But this is almost surely outweighed by its virtue of being the correct explanation.
Make sure to come back next time, when we discuss “Five (Incorrect) Ways To Explain The Existence of Suffering”!
I got seriously sidetracked with the link you generously provided referencing duck rape. I thought I wrote and researched an exhaustive paper in college on animal behaviour and am dismayed that I missed (by a mile) the really interesting stuff. My ex-husband has a Ph.D. in zoology and I am definitely going to explore this with him.
Back to your post…brilliant, as usual.
Great. Now I have “Duck Rape! Whoo-oo!”, to the tune of the Duck Tales theme, stuck in my head.