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Here’s a promising-sounding new book: 10 Dumb Things Smart Christians Believe:

Many Christians, new and seasoned alike, tend to bank on promises that God never made, says one pastor.

So when God doesn’t come through on those “promises,” some are likely to become angry at God.

And “that to me as a pastor over all my years is always one of the saddest things,” says Larry Osborne, teaching pastor at North Coast Church in Vista, Calif.

Osborne, whose church draws over 7,000 people, is hoping to spare a lot of Jesus followers from that anger. He’s also hoping Christians will peruse Scripture more and align themselves with what God really says rather than the “word on the street.”

Wait, that doesn’t sound promising at all! Does he at least have a good list of ten?

  1. Living God’s way will bring good fortune
  2. Faith can fix anything
  3. Forgiving means forgetting
  4. A godly home guarantees godly kids
  5. God has a blueprint for my life
  6. Christians shouldn’t judge
  7. Everything happens for a reason
  8. Let your conscience be your guide
  9. A valley means a wrong turn
  10. Dead people go to a better place.

Well, a number of those are stupid things. But if I were making a list of “Ten Stupid Things Smart Christians Believe,” none of those would be on it. What’s that? You want to know what would be on it? Good question!

Ten Stupid Things Smart Christians Believe

  1. A mistranslated book written by cave people is a reliable guide to the modern world.
  2. There’s an invisible man in the sky who likes to watch you while you’re showering.
  3. Two thousand years ago, an alter ego of this invisible man knocked up a Jewess whose husband wasn’t satisfying her.
  4. The progeny of this drunken coupling was both god and the son of god.
  5. This son of god was killed (but not really, since he’s also god, and god can’t die) and then came back to life to seek revenge, just like J.D. Walker.
  6. His killing was a necessary sacrifice in order that we might be forgiven for the sins of Eve, the first woman in the world, who lived 6000 years ago in a magical garden, where a talking snake convinced her to eat a forbidden apple.
  7. To show our thanks for this sacrifice, we should put special crackers and wine in our mouths, where they will be magically transformed into his flesh and blood, which we should then swallow despite taboos regarding cannibalism.
  8. If you don’t believe all the preceding items, then after you die you will be plunged into a lake of fire and tortured for all eternity.
  9. If you do believe all the preceding items, then after you die you’ll get to go to heaven, which is a cloud in outer space connected to the earth with a dotted line bent into a heart-shape
  10. Thomas Kinkade is an awesome painter.

Which book would you rather read?

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1,269 Responses to “Ten Stupid Things Smart Christians Believe”

  1. wildmanstimpie says:

    A Believer and Mere Human please read my above posts. God Bless in Yeshua Massiah’s Name.

  2. Pastor TL Stark says:

    Interesting your remarks and how you have framed the conversation or rhetoric. The mistake is your sequential thinking is flawed. You begin by quoting no one of significance in scholarly position, yet you succeed in putting together a hollow argument. Finally the Word of God, not the church or a pastor is the final authority of all things for Christians… a point you inadvertently left out. If your an angry person or have set yourself against God, which seems you do not believe in. There’s hope if you read God’s Word, with the help of God the Holy Spirit. If you have never done this, when you do… you will be enlighten like never before.
    Pastor Tom Stark, PhD., M.A.T., B.A.

  3. jj says:

    You are a fraud Stark and going to hell according to my religion. My religion is right, not yours. See how cool religion is?

  4. wildmanstimpie says:

    JJ
    Well you can throw your redirect all you want about others , but maybe you should ask yourself “What if?” What if what the pastor is telling you isnt to his benefit but yours? What if what the pastor is telling you is correct? You throw around redirect to SHOW YOUR DISTAIN FOR GOD, and by doing so, throw away the only one that can make your life complete from here til eternity. JESUS! What the pastor is telling you is correct. Jesus is our ultimate authority. Not our pastors. Not the church. Not other fellow christians. We do only what we were commanded to do by our supreme Lord and God.

  5. sogomogos says:

    The christian bible is stolen on from other older religious faiths.

  6. Aurora says:

    Not a while ago I went to a Christian camp for the first time since a friend of mine from school urged me to go. I’m not religious at all and it was an interesting experience. I’m not saying I do not believe in God , but I do believe that facts can do some good. There are a lot of reasons why I contradict but to make a long story short, I don’t see why I should put my whole entire life in from of this “God” when there isn’t legitimate proof of existence. Life is too precious and for me, to base your footprints on something that you are not sure is completely ridiculous. Maybe I’m wrong and there is proof or whatsoever, but if that’s the case, someone please tell me because I really want to know your side of the story.

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  8. Mere Human aka AAA says:

    to wildmanstimpie: I accept your apology

    It’s awkward how our position has switched. After reading your posts few years back against, doubt and confusion more or less haunted me. (and yes indeed your posts can be hurtful) I could no longer go to church without a care, always pondering on your words. I also become a lot reluctant to go to church and stop praying until today. Even now with change of heart as amazing as yours, I don’t feel tremendously moved or something. Seems like I’ve declined a lot as compared to in the past in term of faith, gonna take a while to buckle up

    So grateful I still remember this site

  9. Mere Human aka AAA says:

    by stop praying I mean praying regularly, only do it in church

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  11. wildmanstimpie says:

    To Mere Human

    Are you saying that because of me and the words I said years ago, you are reluctant to pray or go to church?

  12. wildmanstimpie says:

    I truly hope this isnt the case. God is good, and despite what I said then or now, Jesus is Lord today and tomarrow. Im sorry that I went from not knowing Jesus to becoming a christian to be an athiest then to be found by Jesus one last time. Im not a person with a diverse mind or incapable of holding a commitment. My faith was timid from the begining. Once an athiest the feelings of despair for the inability to answer profound questions that plagued my mind all the time was lifted up and answered by the revieling. I could hear Jesus calling me again. I dont want to sound self absorbed. Im simply trying to share with you that if your faith feels shatered, remember that it may be from fighting the good fight. Endurance builds perseverance. Ask for Jesus to reguvinate your spirit. Ask him for his peace and he will give it freely. Once again, I ask for your forgiveness despite that you already said you did. Jesus please send your healing to my brothers Mere Human and A Christian. Take care my brother. Amen.

  13. Great information. Lucky me I ran across your blog by chance (stumbleupon).
    I’ve book marked it for later!

  14. Mere Human aka AAA says:

    @wildman: yes, our position is basically reversed, but I have not lost faith. God bless you

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  19. anonymous says:

    Does your religion teach you to disrespect other religions?

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